When they brought Miller down, I was struck by how pathetically harmless he looked, a skinny hunched over pale and frail man in his fifties. He had a scraggly growth covering his chin and his longish brown hair was greasy as if he hadn’t bathed for a few days. He kept his eyes down and shuffled across to the chair, he sat and remained looking with his head down. I thanked him for agreeing to the interview. I informed him I had spoke with Jay Marks yesterday. You could see him tense in anger at the mention of Marks name, as it was him she had run off to when she had crawled out the window the last time she left. Marks had told me she had always tried to be nice to Miller, feeling a bit sorry for him. She was had only come back to get her things, he said. She always was so sure he would not cause her any harm despite what Marks and others had said was a man whom was so obsessed and had stalked her for three years.
Matt Miller had already confessed to the crime. I guess I wanted to know why he did it, what drove him to burn her alive?
“You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when your with them?”
“I can’t tell you what it really is but I can tell you what it feels like. I was high off the love, drunk from my hate, like I was huffing paint. I love it the more I suffer, I sufficate. And right before I drown she resuscitates me. She fucking hates me and I love it.”
“She would tell me she was leaving me and I would say no you ain’t, come back. It was so insane but here we go again. I would beg her to come back and tell her lies. Swore I would never hit her, never do anything to hurt her. Yet I here I was spewing venom while I spit, couldn’t stand to look at her it made me sick. It was the rage it would just take over. She thought it best we just go our separate ways, and I promised her I would show some restraint. But that was one day and the next day it would be different. I knew I was like a broken record, and I would just watch her go.”
He hung his head and was quiet for a long time. I finally spoke, and I asked him so what happened that last day, when she came to get her clothes? He told me what he told her, and this is what he said:
Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn’t mean
And we fell back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper’s just as bad
As mine is
Your the same as me
When it comes to love
Your just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn’t you
Baby it was me....
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this was my fault
Look me in the eyeball
He looked at me and with tears and a deep look of a haunting agony, he last spoke, “ I apologized, even though I knew it was lies. I was tired of the games, I just wanted her back.”
The news report from ten years previous claimed that Miller went crazy and tied her to the bed and than set the house on fire. Neighbors watched in horror as Miller was armed and kept anyone from attempting rescue. The steamy night was heavy with smoke from the fire and gunfire was exchanged waiting for the police to come. (Some said it was over forty-five minutes before they actually arrived on the scene, and by than it was too late.) That Miller was taken into custody was attributed to Jason Morgan a friend of the deceased, who was skilled with weaponery and was able to shoot Miller in the leg and apprehend him. His wife, Steph told of how she cried and pleaded with him wondering if he was just going to stand there and watch her burn? Before finally crying she didn’t mind because she liked the way it felt and she loved the way Miller had always just lied. These were the words that haunted most whom had been there that day.
Further disturbing was the fact that Miller had apparently been stalking her for almost three years and she had tried many times previous to get away. Friends of both Miller and the victim that did not want their names to be given and asked to be referred to just as Sammy and Karla said Miller has said the next time she left, well there would be no next time, according to Miller.
________________
Domestic Abuse is Never OK!
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and is often overlooked or denied or excused.
Domestic abuse is one partner in any relationship seeks to control or dominate the other. It can not only be in the form of physical violence, but also in psychological and emotional abuse. The abuser will manipulate, intimidate, guilt, lie,
shame or whatever means possible until they wear down the other party. This is all to keep you under their thumb and control you. Their is nothing fair about an abuser and they will threaten you with any means. Abuse is never the right thing and no one deserves to be abused.
Domestic abuse does not discriminate. It can be between heterosexual as well as same sex couples, all ages, ethnic backgrounds and economic levels. Though it is often the man whom is the abuser it may also be the female in the relationship.
Everyone deserves to feel valued, respected and safe. Abuse is never acceptable.
National Domestic Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Recognizing Abuse is the first step to stopping it!!!
People who are being abused may:
1. Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
2. Go along with everything their partner says and does.
3. Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing.
4. Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner.
5. Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness.
People who are being physically abused may:
1. Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents.”
2. Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation.
3. Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).
People who are being isolated by their abuser may:
1. Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
2. Rarely go out in public without their partner.
3. Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car.
People who are being abused may:
1. Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
2. Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
3. Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
People who are being abused may:
1. Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
2. Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
3. Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
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